This is true even if they are themselves hipsters.
Snowy; ENTP; they/them
I should come with a warning label.
Also Queerness =/= sex. Some queer people like and have sex. Some queer people don’t. But the fact that you still hold that gay people are all about sex as reason to keep children from know about the existence of queer people is offensive on so many levels. On the one hand because queer kids under the age of 12 do in fact exist, and the knowledge that queer people exist is not harmful at all to children, and b because it totally erases and ignores asexuals and demisexuals.
So really just stop it.
T H I S .
[Image Description: Background is several triangles in a circle like a pie alternating from red, orange, yellow, green, light blue, blue, violet, and pink. A picture of Dan Savage.
Top Text: NON-ACE MAN DATING ACE GIRL?
Bottom Text: HE MUST BE A FOOL OR A FAG]
OP is doin it right
I respectfully disagree.
Everypony has the right to regard different parts of their identity as most important. Some ponies place great value on their ethnicity, their career, their religion, their hobby. Why should sexual orientation be any different? Just as the OP has the right to not place his/her/zir sexuality above anything else, others have the right to do so.
I am pansexual, and this is important to me, because I spend a lot of my time researching GSM issues and doing what I can to work for equality. That doesn’t mean I need to “expand my personality”. My personality is plenty expanded! Just because my sexuality is a huge part of who I am doesn’t mean nothing else is. I am also a computer science student, a geek, and a redhead. I like to crochet, write, bake, and design clothes. These things are all a part of my identity, but you know what? GSM equality is damn important! So I’m extremely proud to be well-known among my friends and acquaintances as a supporter and activist of the movement.
tl;dr: Do whatever you want, OP, but you’ve no right to criticize how anypony else chooses to express their identity.
Good words, mom.
Also, the difference between GSM pride and “straight pride” is that “straight pride” is the default. As people are wont to say when this matter is brought up, “every day is straight pride day”. Queer people are still struggling to make ourselves adequately heard, and that’s not a problem that straight people face in regards to their orientation.
If I do not actively explain my orientation to people – my gender, my pronouns, who I like and whether or not I want to have sex – most people will assume that I’m a girl, that she/her is my pronoun set, and that I want to fuck and marry men. They don’t give me the benefit of the doubt. Most don’t ask, “So this person you have a crush on – are they a boy or a girl, or neither? What about you? What are your pronouns?”
Straight, cis people don’t have to deal with that, usually. As I said, straight (as well as cis, and non-asexual for that matter) is the default. If you’re straight, if you’re cis, if you’re not asexual, you have the privilege of not having to explain yourself to people. So saying that we don’t see straight people going around talking about how they’re straight as a way to tell queer people to do the same? It isn’t a fair comparison at all.
As Meg said, if the OP does not feel the need to put themselves out there and make their orientation a central facet of their personality that they tell people about, that is fine. But not everyone has the same desire or luxury, and they might do well to remember that.
oh man, just imagine! someone telling me i don’t count as queer (because i only seek relationships with people of the opposite sex)!
and here i was thinking being verbally and physically harassed was bad. that really puts my suffering in perspective, doesn’t it?
The ‘A’ stands for ‘appropriation’.
Bolding is mine. Seriously, I don’t care if you think I’m a big meanie. Stop appropriating a label that isn’t yours. Tumblr, words have history and meaning. I’m so tired of 23-year olds telling me How It Is. Get back to me in 10 years.
Also love “much less the heteroromantic” as if someone has denied homoromantic ones… look into the mirror and say “strawman” three times and a tumblr asexual will appear.
HETEROROMANTIC ACES ARE STRAIGHT. HETEROROMANTIC ACES ARE STRAIGHT. HETEROROMANTIC ACES ARE FUCKING STRAIGHT.
How about, people are whatever the fuck they want to identify as, and anyone who is not them has no right to tell them how they should or shouldn’t identify?
Of course asexuals count. Anyone who isn’t heterosexual and cisgendered counts. Ace erasure is no better than bi erasure. The A and the B are in the acronym for a fucking reason.
Straight people do not get to identify as queer and invade queer spaces and spew their misinformed bullshit opinions no matter how little sex they have with their straight partners.
LOL “ace erasure.” Somebody please think of the poor straight people who never have to deal with homophobia! It must be so hard!
HETEROROMANTIC ACES ARE STRAIGHT. Get the fuck over it. So sorry you’re not oppressed enough.
Can we not play Oppression Olympics? Thanks.
Look, I think you’re confusing being heterosexual with being heteroromantic. They’re different things. If you’re asexual, you’re not heterosexual or homosexual, but you might be romantic. Some asexuals are romantic in some way, and that’s fine too. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re straight. And in any case, erasing anyone’s identity isn’t cool. You don’t get to tell someone how they should identify. You’re not them.
I am GSM (bisexual, in fact), and I’ll always be willing to accept anyone into the LGBT+ if that’s how they identify. Because I’m not them, I don’t get to decide whether they should identify that way or not. All GSMs are affected by this kyriarchy, and we’re all in the good fight together.
Oppression Olympics does not apply here. I don’t care about your SJ buzzwords.
If you exclusively date and/or fuck people of the opposite sex, you are fucking straight. This has always been the definition of straight.
It doesn’t matter if you’re asexual. Plenty of “sexual” (I love the asexual vs. sexual dichotomy, really. Couldn’t possibly be more simplistic and slut-shamey!) have little to no sex in their straight relationships. The amount of sex you have has never been relevant to the queer community until the advent of AVEN and internet asexual culture.
I’m a GSM also, and I’m not willing to accept straight people into my space. And there are plenty of other GSMs who feel the same way about straight asexuals. Deal with it.
I’m really taking issue with you associating this with some kind of dichotomy. Acknowledging that asexual people exist isn’t slut-shaming in the least. There are some people who honestly have zero sexual attraction, and as such, they are Gender and Sexual Minorities. That shouldn’t be so hard to understand.
Also, asexuality ≠ celibacy. Because–drum roll, please–the former is an orientation, while the latter is a behavior! Ta-DA!)
Or, you know, you can just continue to prove your ignorance. After all, it’s your specialty.
reblogging for commentary @sanityscraps
Asexuality and sexuality are not black and white; some people identify in the gray (spelled “grey” in some countries) area between them. People who identify as gray-A can include, but are not limited to those who:
- do not normally experience sexual attraction, but do experience it sometimes
- experience sexual attraction, but a low sex drive
- experience sexual attraction and drive, but not strongly enough to want to act on them
- people who can enjoy and desire sex, but only under very limited and specific circumstances
Similarly, some people who might technically belong to the gray area choose to identify as asexual because it is easier to explain. For example, if someone has experienced sexual attraction on one or two brief, fleeting occasions in their life, they might prefer to call themselves asexual because it is not worth the bother of having to explain these one or two occasions to everyone who asks about their orientation.
The most common term used to refer to the gray area is “gray-A”. Other terms that have been used for the gray area include “hyposexual”, “demisexual”, “semisexual”, “low sexual intensity”, “asexual-ish”, and “sexual-ish”.
Some of these terms refer to specific parts of the gray area rather than the entire gray area.
Hyposexual can be used as a catch-all term for the gray area, and is commonly mistaken believed by asexuals to be a standard medical term. The actual name is Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, which is classified as a sexual dysfuction in the DSM-IV-TR.
Ok, most of this is good but I’m really uncomfortable with the idea of using “hyposexual” as a catch-all for gray-As. Hyposexual has rather specific connotations of being a low-to-nonexistent sex drive or libido (as in the opposite of hypersexuality); since for many grey-A’s their identity is based more on attraction than drive, and they may not have a lower than normal sex drive, it’s an inaccurate and misleading term. It may be an appropriate term for some grey-As, but certainly not all. It’s also a very clinical word, and while it is very useful in describing levels of sex-drive it unfortunately often has rather pathologizing connotations, which also make me uncomfortable.
Woooow I really don’t like this one at all. Does this really suck any more than falling for anyone else whose orientation doesn’t quite line up with yours? I mean seriously that’s all you had to say. “Falling for someone whose orientation doesn’t quite line up with yours.” Granted that is worded VERY AWKWARDLY but surely something could be done.
…I’m apparently Pansexual.
Is it possible to be a mixture of hetero and androphilia?
pansexuality is.. sexual attraction to all genders
demisexuality is closer to the definition of pansexuality given although that is still not quite accurate
and unless I am mistaken bisexuality is just being attracted to any two genders.. or it varies from person to person, I am not sure
I… am a bit confused by this photoset tbh…
Nononono. If I have picked up anything from my sibling ranting at me, is that this is very wrong. Asexuality is when you feel little or no sexual desires.
It can, but asexuality is defined as not feeling sexual attraction. Whether or not an asexual person actually has, you know, a sex drive varies from person to person. Some don’t! Some never have sex, some have absolutely no desire to have sex. But still other asexuals do have sex, they just…don’t experience sexual attraction.
…it’s a bit complex I am afraid.
Asexual Awareness Week (October 23-29) has created a census for asexual, demisexual and grey-a identified people.
To be scientifically representative, the census needs at least 500 responses. If this happens the results can go towards future academic research into asexuality, and give us a better understanding of the asexual population.
Please only take the survey if you are on the asexual-spectrum!
TAKE THE CENSUS HERE: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/AAW2011AsexualCommunityCensus
Please complete the survey and spread the message!
Good for you.
Uh I have not said that the heterosexism in the ace community is not problematic. I have in fact said the OPPOSITE several times in the last several minutes. I just don’t think that dragging asexual people down while addressing the problem is the way to, well, address the fucking problem.
…Yes, anon. You caught me. I, as a queer person, as a trans* person, as a person who has expressed interest in people of the same sex, as a person who is not straight in any respect, think that heterosexism is perfectly all right as long as it’s coming from the mouths of the marginalized.
Fucking give me a break.
You’re twisting my words.
I understand and recognize that this is not universal across the community, but if I or any of the aces I know and am friends with saw heterosexism being expressed within the community, we would call it out without hesitation.
Criticism of heterosexism and other issues within the asexual community is valid, as they would be in any community. It is problematic in the way it is executed, not in the calling-out itself. It is in a format that will in all likelihood aggregate and amplify negative impressions of a not-very-well-known community. This, specifically the way that the call-outs are executed and not in any way the call-outs themselves, is not problematic because it is the marginalized being called out, but problematic because of how little most people know about the asexual community.
Asexuals absolutely do not get a pass on heterosexism. Nowhere did I claim such.
Yes, probably because most of the things out there that pick on aces pick on them as a monolith and not as individual, problematic qualities within the community. Asexuals are marginalized by the privileged sexual majority, which is why there is such a backlash against things like this. It is not inherently problematic for asexuals to be defensive in a situation wherein they are usually marginalized and attacked as a whole, even when the people doing the attack claim they are not attacking the movement as a whole. I don’t know how to further clarify.
Well, I apologize for that specific bit on my part since I didn’t know that the maintainer of the blog is asexual, but this meme is the exception to the rule. There have been other memes along similar lines, and they have been run by sexual people.
Maybe if asexuals weren’t already erased and marginalized so much, it wouldn’t be as much of an issue. UNFORTUNATELY, that is not the case, so just tossing up a disclaimer that they know this isn’t how all aces act doesn’t quite cut it. Shit gets reblogged, people don’t always check the source blog, and for a lot of people who haven’t got much exposure to the ace community, this could be instilling or amplifying pre-existing notions they have about asexuals.
The difference between Ignorant LGBT Iguana and Homophobic Ace (besides the ableism in the latter?) is that the LGBT community has good representation; we don’t need to tag on a disclaimer that says “Not all queer people are assholes!” onto that meme because even though they’re marginalized, they’re still well-known enough that most people won’t just automatically assume that’s how we all think.
The primary difference is that memes criticizing the queer community are usually made by the queer community, whereas memes criticizing aces are made by sexual people.
That is to say, one meme is self-contained within a marginalized group, whereas the other is made by a privileged group attacking a marginalized group.
Do you see how that is problematic or do I need to clarify further.
Maybe instead of acting like an entire fucking community is made up of assholes, like the predominance of anti-ace people in the queer community are wont to do, people should learn to criticize individual instances of bullshit instead of further shunning an already ostracized group.
Inclusiveness; you are doing it wrong.
Also, I sure as hell hope that these people who are giving aces so much shit for these things are also getting on all of the cissexism, binarism, monosexism, racism, sexism, ableism, etc. (not to mention the still-existing internalized heterosexism!) in the queer community. Else this is just REEEEEEEEALLY awkward.