kulfislut:

trigger warning for eating disorders and all sorts of talk about them

if a friend tells you that they have an eating disorder or a history of it, i understand that it’s natural to freak out a little bit. but sometimes you guys who’ve never personally dealt with an eating disorder say some really stupid things to us. so here’s a list of things not to say!

• don’t tell me that i am beautiful the way i am. ive probably had this ED for some time before telling you and you telling me that im beautiful right now in this very moment as i struggle with my ED is telling me that my ED is the reason why im beautiful and it makes me want to continue it more 
• don’t offer me food????? i feel like this goes without saying but some people think its a good idea to shove food at me. like come on, do you want me to have a panic attack and cry. show some sensitivity. 
• don’t ask me weird questions about how i fast/purge/etc. don’t be that person.
• don’t ask how much i weigh 
• don’t tell me im not skinny enough for my ED to be legitimate or dangerous to my health because this is total bullshit tbh
• don’t talk about my weight, full stop 
• don’t threaten to tell my parents/friends/etc
• “just eat!!!”
• don’t tell me that what im doing to myself is horrible and disgusting. i already know that.
• don’t tell me that my ED might kill me. i also already know that. 
• don’t try to teach me how to lose weight in a “healthy” way. that is fifty shades of not helpful at all.
• don’t sit there and speculate right in front of me as to why i have an ED. and dont ask. i’ll tell you when i want to.
• don’t talk about things i dont want to hear about. if i ask you to do something (like tagging all food related posts for example) so that im not triggered, do me a favor and don’t badger me about why im triggered by it. sometimes i have weird triggers that i don’t want to talk about. do me a favor and help me out a bit. 
• don’t attack me for my eating habits. this bears repeating because it’s super important and somehow people think that it’s helpful or caring to do this. newsflash, it is the opposite of that so don’t do it!!!!!

love,

bitches with eating disorders that are getting real tired of your shit xoxo

demoncolbert:

okay lemme just

IF YOU MISGENDER SOMEONE, APOLOGIZE. DONT TRY TO JUSTIFY IT. DONT VICTIMIZE YOURSELF. AND DEFINITELY DONT MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THE PERSON YOU MISGENDERED IS AT FAULT. JUST FUCKING APOLOGIZE AND LEAVE THEM ALONE.

thisgingerisback:

Angelina Jolie announces a double mastectomy to save her life, people get fucking pissed and act like she’s lost everything that’s made her worthwhile in the first place, AND YOU WONDER WHY I FUCKING HATE THE “SAVE THE BOOBIES” TROPE.

BECAUSE NO ONE ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE WOMAN’S LIFE. WOMEN JUST HAPPEN TO BE ATTACHED TO A PAIR OF BREASTS. WOMEN AREN’T WORTH SAVING—BUT YOU BET YOUR ASS THE PUBLIC WILL BE IN A RIOT IF A GOOD PAIR OF TITS IS IN DANGER.

friendlyangryfeminist:

just because coming out is brave, doesn’t mean being in the closet is cowardly. 

queer existence, queer survival is brave. 

generalkandas:

ALL RIGHT LISTEN 

i don’t give a single flying fuck about whether or not people are ~born gay/bi/pan. i really don’t, because it doesn’t fucking matter

saying “well they’re born that way” is not really supporting lgbt+ people. because what you’re really saying is that if it was a choice, you wouldn’t think that lgbt+ people would be correct in asking for fair treatment and equality. you’re also saying that if you’re not born that way, then living life as a gay person is just unthinkable, because who would want to do such an awful thing??????????

i would. i am a lesbian. i’m a lesbian while i do my laundry, i’m a lesbian while i walk my dog, i’m a lesbian in my sleep. it’s just part of my life. it’s fun and boring and infuriating and everything else a human life can be. if i had a choice, i’d choose to be gay, because it’s who i am and it makes me happy. whether that’s biology or psychology, it doesn’t matter. i’m still a person and i deserve to have my life and human rights respected.

and that’s what it all comes down to, treating people like people and fighting for equality for everyone, not a discussion about whether or not there’s a gay glitch in my brain. 

this is not the fucking fifties, so we can stop acting like being gay is some horrible, awful thing one must ~overcome or ~learn to live with?* 

*(note: this is not a dig at people dealing with internalized homophobia bc that’s completely legitimate and terrible, and my heart goes out to the people who deal with those feelings) 

cleromancy:

man i’m so so so done with all of these posts like TUMBLR ROMANTICIZES DEPRESSION AND SELF-LOATHING AND ANXIETY because lmfao like, i think you’re confused, friend. there’s a large portion of mentally ill folks on tumblr and we like to make posts and jokes about the shit we go through cause we fucking live it and if we don’t talk about this shit somewhere we’ll probably implode

like shit that romanticizes mental illness is people saying OH MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE ARE SO MUCH MORE *CREATIVE* AND *INTERESTING* and those movies where Sad Girl Falls In Love And Cures Her Depression and those tv shows about ~crazy~ teens who do shit like dramatically cutting off all their hair set to edgy alternative music. not fucking mentally ill ppl candidly talking about our shit 

like do not fuckin try to tell me that me talking about my illness and working through it with humor is ~romanticizing it because i will not fucking stand for that horseshit

jhenne-bean:

notcuddles:

magicrobotgeography:

btw guys, you do know that if you’re gonna boycott abercrombie, you have to also boycott hot topic, hollister, and american eagle because they’re all owned by the same company

And nothing of value was lost

Ok but 

• Abercrombie - Parent retailer, owned by the racist/sexist/fat-shaming orc lookin’ douchecanoe, as we all know. 
• Hot Topic - is its own independently owned/operated entity. They own Torrid, and were founded by Orv Madden, and are currently run by Betsey McLaughlin. 
• Hollister - HCo. is owned by/a division of Abercrombie & Fitch Co.
• American Eagle - AE and Aero are both competitors of A&F. American Eagle Outfitters is a subsidiary of Retail Ventures Inc. 
  

Not to imply that Hot Topic doesn’t do fucked up stuff on their own, ofc. I don’t know much about AE’s history. 

randomlygeeky:

stevesmithis:

nudityandnerdery:

thegood-morrow:

arewhedonyet:

Game of Thrones ranks somewhere on the Girl Dislike scale between NASCAR and that National Geographic show where the guy sticks his hand in a catfish’s mouth. If you’re clueless as to why she’s intent on harshing your TV buzz, here are some telltale clues.

“It’s hard to follow.”  Because obviously women aren’t capable of such complex thought.  What a ridiculous article.  The entire premise is deeply flawed since just as many women as men watch the show (if not more).

Stupid stupid

“It reminds us of the kids that used to play magic cards in the cafeteria.” And there’s nothing ladies hate more than being reminded of nerds in high school, am I right? All the ladies hate that sort of thing. (I don’t know how to break this news to all the kickass ladies I know who possibly were the sort of person who played Magic in the cafeteria in high school…)

Um, I know girls who aren’t in to fantasy who love this show almost as much as I do. Hell, the women in my life, in general, are as passionate, if not more passionate, about ASOIAF than I am. What a load of shit.

Oh fuck this article!

“Here’s how to convince her to give it a little Sunday night love: … Tell her about Sir Loras. Girls love gay guys.”

is this a joke

gyzym:

two millennials are barreling towards adulthood at 95 miles per hour. one of them has been coated with the most extravagant paint money can buy, but their steering apparatus is locked up until that coat’s paid off; the other’s breaks have been ripped out mid-trip, the thief yelling, “what, did you think you were entitled to these?” over their shoulder. half the tracks have been torn away to build second, third, and fifth garages for trains that are no longer running. solve for x. 

tell me again how the song goes — i’m so inadequate i might forget. if we’re not informed enough then we’re apathetic morons, but if we’re too informed we’re oversensitive reactionaries; if we think we deserve more then we’re narcissistic cutthroats, but if we’re happy where we are then we’re passionless layabouts. if we’re making money then we’re materialistic automatons who only care about stuff and don’t value the important things in life, but if we’re broke then we’re disgusting, spoiled children who expect everything in life to be a handout. if we spend too much time with technology then we’re antisocial, soulless zombies who spell the end for human interaction as we know it, but if we spend too much time together we’re a dangerous, unstable element who should get real jobs already. we’re a disgrace; we’re a embarrassment; we’re a mistake; we’re a disappointment; we’re not what you wanted, however you slice it, and all of it’s our fault, right? right? oh, god, am i getting the melody wrong?

here’s what i propose, everyone who wants to open their twenty-four-hour news cycles or their pork-barrel mouths, who wants to use their filthy fucking hands to tear this generation a new one: you try it. you come up with a picture of the generation you seem to want: one that’s neither apathetic nor engaged, one that’s neither ambitious nor content, one that’s neither rich nor poor, one that’s neither technologically connected nor interpersonally involved. don’t forget to factor in the variables — the years of economic instability; the globalization of everything from communication to art; the hugely stratified individual experiences we’ve had based on things like race, sexuality, gender, and socioeconomics, on things that come with whole histories of systemic bullshit; the overwhelming burden of student debt that so many of us face; the fact that hindsight is 20/20. you write the formula for the millennial that will shut you the fuck up about all the things we should be and aren’t, about all the ways we’ve failed you, and then you bring it to me. i promise you, i will try it. anything for a little peace and quiet, right? anything to stop hearing it everywhere i go: that voice saying that, at twenty-three, i might already have flunked out of life. 

(both millennials crash, spectacularly and yelling for help, into the station that never built a platform for them to pull into. onlookers stand by and shake their heads, wondering about the deplorable state of trains today. that’s what happens when nobody does the fucking math.) 

content warning: discussion of cissexism/cissexist slurs

redlanternzoom:

SHORT ANSWER: they’re dehumanizing.

MORE IN DEPTH:

genderbender is a term that’s been around for quite a while, and it has a history of being used to fetishize trans* bodies. it assigns the idea of body parts = presentation = gender—i.e. your ‘parts’ and your ‘presentation’ and gender must all match up. which is. ridiculous. since gender and body parts and presentation can all be TOTALLY DIFFERENT. shit does not have to match up!

genderbender has been in use in popular culture! futurama! ranma 1/2 is friggin BUILT off this trope! it was the title of an x-files episode about an alien species that could ~change their body~ (their BODY, so it’s not about gender at all! remember, gender is a societal thing built on roles for men and women, it has fuck all to do with bodies). oh and then the titular alien murdered people. yep. that’s great. it’s not like there’s a history of transgender folk being framed as oversexed rapists/murderers. nope.

(silence of the lambs, for example, is one of the more famous out there, not even getting into all the “transploitation” porn/rape revenge shit out there)

and no, you are not meaning to reference a long history of trans* people being fetishized as she-males and tr*nnies and benders—you just want to draw cute fanart of your fave dude as a lady or your fave lady as a dude! but uh, you are still totally doing that, regardless of intention.

because you are playing into the cissexist notion that body parts = gender = presentation. and that a dude being turned into a lady means he now had breasts and a vagina and wears a dress and goes by she. nvm that hey, he could totally become a she and still wear the exact same damn clothes and have a penis. REVOLUTIONARY. I KNOW.

is there anything wrong with wanting to make a character a different gender? nah, go hogwild! fanfiction and fanart is for exploring stuff, and hey, that includes gender + gender roles. but the problem IS in 99% of ~genderbending~ or ~genderswapping,~ gender, presentation, and body parts are ALWAYS ALWAYS in a set. ie

• GIRLS: have vaginas, boobs, wear dresses, and id as female
• BOYS: have penises, wear pants, and id as men

you will very very rarely find

• GIRLS: have a penis AND a moustache, wear dresses, id as female.
• GIRLS: have a penis, wear pants, and id as female
• GIRLS: have a vagina, wear pants, id as female
• BOYS: have a vagina, wear pants, id as men
• BOYS: have a vagina, wear dresses, id as men
• BOYS: have a penis, wear dresses, id as men
• NONBINARY PEOPLE: ??????????????????? WHAT PEOPLE EXIST OUTSIDE MALE/FEMALE???????????????
• GENDERFLUID PEOPLE: WHAT
• INTERSEX: UH OH YEAH YOU EXIST TOO

genderbending/genderswapping contributes to even more erasure of trans* folk, nonbinary peeps, and also intersex bodies, not to mention! continued fetishization of gender/presentation/bodies that can ~change~ or do not fit in with ~norms~.

and no, rule 63 is not really a better term for this, since it means the exact same thing, but at least it doesn’t give me rage spasms when i see the word (unlike genderbender. yall, that is kinda a slur? let’s not).

so next time you are drawing/writing/exploring this, maybe. keep this in mind and switch it up a bit?

and STOP USING THESE WORDS, like god damn IF YOU WANT TO DRAW. IDK. mulder as a lady and scully as a dude, HOW ABOUT MAYBE JUST PRESENTING IT AS “mulder as a lady” or “scully as a dude” or “dude!scully” OR SOMETHING ELSE that is not inherently gross.

like ACTUAL REAL LIVE GENDERBENDER PERSON HERE

TELLING YOU TO KNOCK IT OFF.

I asked a question like this…

(Source: husssel)

robertdowneytransjunior:

makaalbarnisbetterthanyou:

makaalbarnisbetterthanyou:

“First of all, I think the term “queerbaiting” is not accurate. It pissed me off, because I feel like a real champion of that community with all those letters [LGBTQA] - you know, I’ve officiated gay weddings. Also, I don’t know understand what the term means.”

wat is misha collins even saying here

ARE WE REALLY NOT EVEN GUNNA TALK ABOUT THIS JFC

“i’ve officiated gay weddings”

guys my best friend is a cishet white guy so you can’t call me a misandrist but this is some nastyass patriarchal heterosexist self-excusing bullshit and misha collins needs to sit the fuck down

“i feel like a real champion” yeah a champion of getting involved in a self-congratulatory circle-jerk with yourself and then using that as grounds to refocus the issue on yourself when it should be on the people who are suffering because you’re a shitty ally and other allies are using you as a role model

i’m too drunk for this bullshit

(Source: ladiesappreciationblog)

irresistible-revolution:

i mean it’s easy to hate the Westboro Baptish Church and talk up a lot of righteous outrage about how awful they are but honestly you should spend less of your angry energy on a small cult organization that no one takes seriously anyway and focus on things like idk racist media, racist and heterosexist education systems and the thousands of microaggressions we perpetuate daily against marginalized folks. I see so many white people who foam at the mouth about the WBC but try to shut down WOC anytime we talk about militarization of our countries and communities or the imperialism we face or the border violence we live with. 

it’s easy to hate and condemn flagrant bigotry like the WBC, it’s harder to admit how we benefit from everyday acts of institutional bigotry.

redlanternzoom:

greenchestnuts:

nextstepcake:

Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease: PSA: sex does not have to be enjoyable to be consensual.

cursiveonly:

I’ll be a fool and bite, but unlike last time I’m going to try to get all of my thoughts into one concise post because I am not having a huge debate over this because the whole concept is stomach-churning to me.

We should not live in a society where it’s considered empowering or any sort of commendable exercise of our agency to reduce ourselves to sexual objects. I was not comparing her to an object in the sense that I see her as an object, I was pointing out that the partners of people like this see their asexual partners as objects.

Actually, no, YOU and other objectors here are the only one so far who has reduced me to an object. You are the ones who have described me like this. You are the ones who have assumed no partner could ever see us as anything but. Please do not make assumptions about any partners of mine, or other asexuals, whether real or hypothetical. You’re making a lot of unfounded assumptions here.

If the asexual partner is, in effect, staring vacantly at the ceiling as the sexual partner goes to town on their body solely for their own pleasure, there is no way on God’s green earth I will be convinced that this sexual partner does not see the asexual as an object of their own sexual gratification. If you can fuck someone who’s faking an orgasm without a twinge of guilt, you absolutely do have issues with seeing your partner as an object. The asexual partner has become a masturbatory object for the sexual partner. That’s tragic, sickening, and indefensible. 

Again, you seem to have a very overactive and honestly rather disturbing imagination, because - for me at least, the only person I was ever even talking about - this is so completely not even close to what would probably be happening. I’m not going to be staring vacantly at the ceiling, or faking orgasms I’m not having, or doing anything I actually find actively unpleasant. Despite what you may think I’m not an idiot. And I really don’t need your misguided “pity”. I’d prefer your respect, but that seems to be difficult.

Actually here’s some more fodder to confuse your preconceptions even more - I happen to like kink! I’m interested more in the nonsexual side, but if someone wanted to involve sex in a scene, I might be into that (with proper negotiation beforehand). I may not get any particular pleasure from the sex, but I would enjoy the fact that they enjoy it, and I would also be actively enjoying other parts of the scene perhaps. And if my partner has any sense, they will understand that. And if they don’t have any sense, well, they probably won’t be my partner.

It is not comparable to other activities where one partner simply isn’t into it. Say I don’t like football, but I decide to sit down and watch the Superbowl with my best friend because I know it means a lot to them. I’m offering my time and interaction freely and of my own accord, but I haven’t been physically used or objectified for the pleasure of my football-watching friend. The enjoyment comes from the third party activity. However, the enjoyment of sex with a consenting but uninterested partner explicitly comes from using the body of that person for physical pay-off. It’s certainly not coming from showing the ace a good time, and it isn’t coming from a third-party source like a television program or a walk in the park. The payoff of fucking an uninterested but consenting asexual is using their body as a masturbatory aid like a living sex doll.

ugh, that metaphor again. You do realize that the act of sex doesn’t have to be dirty and evil and full of objectification, right? Also maybe this is my ego speaking but I like to think I’d be way better than some plastic sex doll :P

People don’t think this is goofed up. I don’t even get it. Does that mean these same people think it’s fair to have sex with your non-ace partner, finish yourself off, leave them unfulfilled, and walk off? Is it cool for women to have to have to fake orgasms? Is it cool for a lesbian to consent to sex with a man and be uninterested and probably uncomfortable for the duration? Is it cool for a gay man to consent to marry a woman and have sex, raise kids, live together for years with neither of them ever enjoying a minute of it? Should we be fostering MORE relationships where one person profits from the use of another person’s body without any kind of enthusiastic reciprocation?

Ok, seriously, I think the problem here is that you are reading waaaay too much into this. You are reading a lifetime of suffering into something that could be as simple as two people deciding to have sex, deciding they didn’t like how it went, and never doing it again. Should we be fostering relationships of abuse? no. BUT THAT IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO WHAT I’M TRYING TO TALK ABOUT HERE. (this is what’s known as setting up strawman arguments)

Just because the other person consents doesn’t make it morally right to fuck them. Aces shouldn’t have to think they need to consent to sex and let themselves be used like that. Partners should understand that aces don’t want to fuck them and not be selfish, objectifying pigs. If they can’t handle the idea of a sexless relationship why even GET with an ace? Stop the indignant rage at someone “attacking rights to agency” and read between the lines, people, goodness gracious. It isn’t healthy to have sex you’re uninvested in and be used by another person like that. 

…have you even read anything I’ve said? You’ve obviously made some very big (and erroneous) assumptions about my motivations and experiences, and the motivations of my possible partners.

Has everyone here missed the fact that I actively do want to try sex, even if I might not enjoy it for the physical pleasure alone? Also, for the record, this is just me - I don’t currently have a partner pressuring me into anything. This is all on me. Stop trying to vilify some hypothetical partner for the decisions that I myself have made. 

Also, you need to stop projecting things onto this situation that aren’t even there. Maybe you would never have sex if you were an asexual. Maybe you consider sex to be degrading and objectifying. If so, then you probably shouldn’t be having sex if you were in a situation like this.

But the thing is, you are not me. Your desires are not my desires, your fears are not my fears. You need to stop projecting your own hangups onto my situation.

—

Also, as a bit of a side note - for anyone following and contributing to this conversation, I have a question: how many of you are actually asexual or have been the partner of one? And how many of you are just going off wild guesses of what it might be like? 

And for those who prefer actually knowing my opinions instead of making assumptions, I can totally open question and answer time. My ask box is open and I can respond after I get dinner.

I’m basically just reblogging everything you say at this point because you’re being very eloquent.

I’m really sorry people are being so terrible to you.

reblogging for excellent commentary (by which i mean responses by ACTUAL ACE PEOPLE, NOT NON-ACE PEOPLE).

i fucking hate this idea that all ace people are not allowed to enjoy (in their own way) sex with their partner. seriously, reducing non-coerced consensual sex, which an ace person CAN ENJOY because hey, sexual pleasure is not everything, there is also emotional and psychological and romantic pleasure and sometimes ace people can like sex without necessarily feeling sexual attraction (SERIOUSLY, SEXUAL ATTRACTION =/= ENJOYING ACT OF SEX)

to the suggestion that your partner is “masturbating with your body” is GROSS AS FUCK and objectifies ace bodies in the exact way that sexual people are apparently taking umbrage with! YOU ARE DENYING ACE PEOPLE THE ABILITY TO CONSENT. you are saying, NO, ace people are incapable of consenting!!!

people are allowed to decide what they want. even if you don’t get it! even if you’re like BUT WHAT IS THE POINT OF SEX WITHOUT SEXUAL ATTRACTION!! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. MY UNDERSTANDING OF ASEXUALITY IS EXTREMELY LIMITED!!!

stop reducing all ace people to poor sad victims who are always coerced into sex. that is not the case here. hence, the whole start of this post wherein an actual ace person states that they can make their own decisions, and can choose to do what they want.

if you disagree get the fuck off my blog.