okay lemme just
IF YOU MISGENDER SOMEONE, APOLOGIZE. DONT TRY TO JUSTIFY IT. DONT VICTIMIZE YOURSELF. AND DEFINITELY DONT MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THE PERSON YOU MISGENDERED IS AT FAULT. JUST FUCKING APOLOGIZE AND LEAVE THEM ALONE.
Snowy; 22; ENTP; they/them
I should come with a warning label.
ALL RIGHT LISTEN
i don’t give a single flying fuck about whether or not people are ~born gay/bi/pan. i really don’t, because it doesn’t fucking matter
saying “well they’re born that way” is not really supporting lgbt+ people. because what you’re really saying is that if it was a choice, you wouldn’t think that lgbt+ people would be correct in asking for fair treatment and equality. you’re also saying that if you’re not born that way, then living life as a gay person is just unthinkable, because who would want to do such an awful thing??????????
i would. i am a lesbian. i’m a lesbian while i do my laundry, i’m a lesbian while i walk my dog, i’m a lesbian in my sleep. it’s just part of my life. it’s fun and boring and infuriating and everything else a human life can be. if i had a choice, i’d choose to be gay, because it’s who i am and it makes me happy. whether that’s biology or psychology, it doesn’t matter. i’m still a person and i deserve to have my life and human rights respected.
and that’s what it all comes down to, treating people like people and fighting for equality for everyone, not a discussion about whether or not there’s a gay glitch in my brain.
this is not the fucking fifties, so we can stop acting like being gay is some horrible, awful thing one must ~overcome or ~learn to live with?*
*(note: this is not a dig at people dealing with internalized homophobia bc that’s completely legitimate and terrible, and my heart goes out to the people who deal with those feelings)
content warning: discussion of cissexism/cissexist slurs
SHORT ANSWER: they’re dehumanizing.
MORE IN DEPTH:
genderbender is a term that’s been around for quite a while, and it has a history of being used to fetishize trans* bodies. it assigns the idea of body parts = presentation = gender—i.e. your ‘parts’ and your ‘presentation’ and gender must all match up. which is. ridiculous. since gender and body parts and presentation can all be TOTALLY DIFFERENT. shit does not have to match up!
genderbender has been in use in popular culture! futurama! ranma 1/2 is friggin BUILT off this trope! it was the title of an x-files episode about an alien species that could ~change their body~ (their BODY, so it’s not about gender at all! remember, gender is a societal thing built on roles for men and women, it has fuck all to do with bodies). oh and then the titular alien murdered people. yep. that’s great. it’s not like there’s a history of transgender folk being framed as oversexed rapists/murderers. nope.
(silence of the lambs, for example, is one of the more famous out there, not even getting into all the “transploitation” porn/rape revenge shit out there)
and no, you are not meaning to reference a long history of trans* people being fetishized as she-males and tr*nnies and benders—you just want to draw cute fanart of your fave dude as a lady or your fave lady as a dude! but uh, you are still totally doing that, regardless of intention.
because you are playing into the cissexist notion that body parts = gender = presentation. and that a dude being turned into a lady means he now had breasts and a vagina and wears a dress and goes by she. nvm that hey, he could totally become a she and still wear the exact same damn clothes and have a penis. REVOLUTIONARY. I KNOW.
is there anything wrong with wanting to make a character a different gender? nah, go hogwild! fanfiction and fanart is for exploring stuff, and hey, that includes gender + gender roles. but the problem IS in 99% of ~genderbending~ or ~genderswapping,~ gender, presentation, and body parts are ALWAYS ALWAYS in a set. ie
- GIRLS: have vaginas, boobs, wear dresses, and id as female
- BOYS: have penises, wear pants, and id as men
you will very very rarely find
- GIRLS: have a penis AND a moustache, wear dresses, id as female.
- GIRLS: have a penis, wear pants, and id as female
- GIRLS: have a vagina, wear pants, id as female
- BOYS: have a vagina, wear pants, id as men
- BOYS: have a vagina, wear dresses, id as men
- BOYS: have a penis, wear dresses, id as men
- NONBINARY PEOPLE: ??????????????????? WHAT PEOPLE EXIST OUTSIDE MALE/FEMALE???????????????
- GENDERFLUID PEOPLE: WHAT
- INTERSEX: UH OH YEAH YOU EXIST TOO
genderbending/genderswapping contributes to even more erasure of trans* folk, nonbinary peeps, and also intersex bodies, not to mention! continued fetishization of gender/presentation/bodies that can ~change~ or do not fit in with ~norms~.
and no, rule 63 is not really a better term for this, since it means the exact same thing, but at least it doesn’t give me rage spasms when i see the word (unlike genderbender. yall, that is kinda a slur? let’s not).
so next time you are drawing/writing/exploring this, maybe. keep this in mind and switch it up a bit?
and STOP USING THESE WORDS, like god damn IF YOU WANT TO DRAW. IDK. mulder as a lady and scully as a dude, HOW ABOUT MAYBE JUST PRESENTING IT AS “mulder as a lady” or “scully as a dude” or “dude!scully” OR SOMETHING ELSE that is not inherently gross.
like ACTUAL REAL LIVE GENDERBENDER PERSON HERE
TELLING YOU TO KNOCK IT OFF.
can all us queer and/or trans* muslims on tumblr get together weekly or even monthly to chat? we could even hold our own makeshift worship service. i end up shying away from masjid a lot because i feel judged for being queer and i really need to feel some queer muslim community in a more immediate way than just catching your posts on tumblr occasionally. maybe if any of us are imams or would like to be imams, we could throw together something for the group. if not, we could just talk about our spirituality and what islam means to us.
please boost this even if you aren’t muslim to help us spread the word and message me to let me know if this is an idea you’d be interested in helping to organize. you don’t necessarily have to be queer and/or trans* to get involved, but you do have to be a progressive Muslim who believes in equality.
The text of this bill says: “A health facility may assert as a matter of conscience an objection to participating in a health care service and may decline to participate in a health care service that violates its conscience pursuant to this section.” Health care providers are already allowed to refuse to offer abortions in Michigan, but this could also allow them to further restrict reproductive rights. It could also hurt LGBT Michiganders needing care.
Shout out to the homeless queers youths, jailed trans women, queer people of color struggling with intersecting oppression, and poor rural queer kids who survive homophobic abuse from their communities while Katy Perry gets recognition for their struggles.
Something interesting I learned in my speech class textbook, Reflect and Relate (Second Edition) about they/them/their in the English language, page 187:
A language’s regulative rules also change. When you learned to speak
and write English, for example, you probably were taught that they is inappropriate as a singular pronoun. But before the 1850s, people commonly used they as the singular pronoun for individuals whose gender was unknown—for example, “the owner went out to the stables, where they fed the horses” (Spender, 1990).
In 1850, male grammarians petitioned the British Parliament to pass a law declaring that all gender-indeterminate references be labeled he instead of they (Spender, 1990). Since that time, teachers of English worldwide have taught their students that they used as a singular pronoun is “not proper.”
I always thought that “they” was considered grammatically improper as a singular pronoun because of the possibility of confusion with the plural “they” (an additional factor also explored in this paper). I wanted to see if their were other sources on the above and there are! I was interested to learn about this in particular because, time and time again, I’ve heard people rudely remark on they/them/their being “improper” after someone would mention this as the pronoun set they’d like people to use in reference to them - both online and off. They/them/their is also the pronoun set I have gelled with best in reference to myself. If anyone has more info on this, I’d love to know about it!
in short: men suck
actually when somebody tells you your pronouns are improper i think the best coarse of action is to fart in their face.
or take a poop in their shoes.
I once got into an argument with a dude over my pronouns
I verbally kicked his ass
And red faced, he goes
“Well ‘they’ might not always be plural but it’s certainly past tense!”
Reblogging because this is super useful info but also “it’s certainly past tense”? What does that even MEAN?!
It can be INCREDIBLY rude to dismiss someone’s coming out by saying you already knew or that you don’t care at all.
An appropriate response is to say thank you, because the person coming out has placed a lot of trust in coming out to you.
accidentally misgendering a friend is like tripping and accidentally punching them in the face:
- you can apologize and your friend can forgive you, but their face is still punched
- you are capable of watching the ground more closely/paying attention to your actions to avoid it happening again
- if it keeps happening, your sorry means less and less
don’t be the person that punches your friend’s face over and over, watch where you’re going
[Image: eight piece background composed of alternating purple/green triangles. A yellow seahorse with its tail wrapped around a piece of red coral is in the center, and two more pieces of coral are behind it. Top text reads “should I bind?”. Bottom text reads “or wear a push-up bra?”
Yes, it’s another one of those photo blogs. I thought the Muslim queers on tumblr could use a space where they could meet other Muslim queers. This one is a blog for any Muslims who happen to be queer. If you are Muslim and identify as something other than non-heterosexual or non-cisgender, than you are a Muslim queer.
So the way it works is this: Submit a photo of yourself including your name, age, location, and URL. Your submission will be published as soon as possible.
Submit box is now open!
Trigger Warning: transmisogynistic slur
I am pissed off because Laci Green, one of the most promising young content creators on YouTube, has been forced off the Internet by death threats—apparently driven by her casual use of the word “tranny” in a video she made more than three years ago. (She apologized and even took down the video.)
Laci makes wonderful, hilarious, sex-positive videos that have been tremendously helpful to millions of people (including me). She makes people feel less alone and less ashamed. She’s wonderful, and YouTube and tumblr are very lucky to have her, and we should all be really pissed that her ability to make stuff has been compromised by threats.
Here’s the truth, although we don’t say it often: You want to know why there are so few women in the Top 100 most viewed lists on YouTube? Because women are far more likely to be stalked, threatened, and attacked on the Internet, and they are far more likely to see those attacks move from cyber-bullying to real life threats, which too often forces them to abandon their work and their audiences.
I’ve been making videoblogs for more than five years, and I have a large audience, and a few overeager fans have found out where I live over the years, and you know what they’ve done about it? They’ve left me candy. Now, to be clear, I was still very uncomfortable and freaked out by this. But they didn’t send me death threats with pictures of my apartment building the way they’ve done to Laci.
And Laci is not alone. Most of the women I’ve known from YouTube—from those with 5,000 subscribers to those with 500,000—have dealt with harassment and stalking, and it has affected their ability to create stuff.
It’s not acceptable. It’s not acceptable to respond to a transphobic comment with a threat to kill someone. It’s not acceptable to harass and stalk women because you want their attention. And it’s not acceptable to use threats and intimidation to silence women you disagree with.
YouTube and tumblr should respond aggressively to these reports, and we need stronger laws to combat this crap, because I’m tired of seeing brilliant women driven away from the Internet by trolls with nothing to contribute.
Do you know why I am pissed off? John Green wrote this and Maureen Johnson reblogged this, YA authors who I recently respected and whose books comprised some of the best moments I’ve had in my childhood and teenhood.
I’m pissed off that Laci Green pins Islam as one of the world’s most misogynistic religions and refuses to apologize for her comments.
I’m pissed off that people of color receive threats of death and rape and racist harassment in their inboxes every fucking day, but Tumblr staff doesn’t do anything about it. I’m pissed off that an internet pseudo-celebrity draws young adult authors to her aid when unknown PoC and readers of your books are dehumanized everyday for their culture, religion, or the color of their skin. When they are marginalized and discriminated against by Laci’s harmful and racist ideology.
Both John Green and Maureen Johnson are privileged white authors whose outreach is extensive and yet they serve only to derail the valid criticisms against Laci. Is it unacceptable to stalk and harass an individual, no matter how repellent their actions? Yes. Is it unacceptable to threaten her with rape and use misogynistic language against her? Absolutely. But does that detract from Laci’s hateful and discriminatory behavior and the people who are institutionally oppressed, but thankfully at liberty to speak against her? No.
Feeling kind of sick because John Green thought it was an acceptable thing to do to say tr***y, and well… his whole post in general.
Goddamnit this is the problem with John Green and nerdfighters in general what the fuck you’re all living in bubbles. What the serious fuck.
all you fuckers acting like her receiving these threats absolves her of all the terrible shit up there that she’s done